Tell Me About Your Mother

Psychotherapy (aka"talk therapy") is a wonderful thing. Mostly, I get validation from my therapist, but she also makes me accountable when I start trying to avoid responsibility for things. She strongly advised me NOT to let my parents move in with me (more on that conversation later), and she was right. But, I did it anyway, and the stories I tell when I need to vent have led her to suggest I write all this things down. She thinks I could write a book.

Well there's nothing like suggesting a book to a frustrated novelist to get her in good spirits, so I bounced out of there and though about how I would do it. I can't publish such a thing until my parents and everyone who knows them, is dead. But if I use a fake name, and don't tell you who they are, I can let go with all the stories. So, with a nod to Frank McCourt, I give you:

Everyone Loves Gary!

If you've ever seen the sit-com Everybody Loves Raymond, you have an idea what my family is like. My mother is Doris on that show. Everybody knows this. (Well, a cross between Doris and Mrs. Costanza on Seinfeld). The funny thing is, when she saw an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond, my mother commented on how she did not like it, and the mother character is annoying and mean. My sister and I could barely get out of the room fast enough to burst into tears of laughter at that!

This is my Family:

Ma Kelly, the matriarch, named for this blog after Johnny Dangerously's mother, played by Maureen Stapleton, who looks a little like my mom. She was born in Brooklyn in the 1930's, rasied by her mother after her father died, and married my dad in the late 50's.

Pa Kelly is obviously my dad. He was like the fourth kid in my family - he always asked my mom for permission to do things. She gave him an allowance, even though he was the only one who worked.

Mimi is what I will call my sister. Of the two of us, she was "the pretty one." I was "the smart one." Keep that in mind, it will be important later. I am the eldest, she is the youngest, which doesn't matter at all now - but it did when we were kids.

Gary shall be the name I give to my brother. Go out and rent Parenthood, the 1989 movie with Steve Martin. The way Diane Weist's character interacts with her son is how my mother treats my brother.

And yes, I know, I watch a lot of TV.